I'm scared

Actually I'm terrified.  I can handle life changing around me - different job, different house, different city, whatever.  But I have never had so many changes within my personal relationship before.

Things are going to be ok - I do know that.  We're growing as individuals and are just getting our footing - but it's a big change that I'm not quite sure how to deal with at the moment.  I'm learning and growing into who I want to be, Mr. Penguin is doing the same.  For me that means blogging and time alone for reflection and to get back to my hobbies.  For him it means getting more exercise and going back to school.  It is a lot all at once.  We have a ton of responsibilities already with the house, two kids, jobs and still finding time for one another.  I want to be our own people and pursue our own interests outside of our marriage, but I want to make sure that 'US' stays the top priority too.

All of these changes have shaken my 'base', the thing I rely on in my life.  When everything else was going to shit, I could turn to my relationship and feel safe, secure and that I could handle anything.  I know I can handle anything that life throws at me, I do.  Right now I'm just a little more timid in my stance is all.

I am giving into the fear.  I am loving with my entire being and embracing all the changes we are experiencing and loving my penguin with all that I have.   

Our marriage is totally worth it.

It's just going to take some getting used to.  I am very thankful that I have such a wonderful man to hold my hand and make the jump with me.  <3

*hugs*