Welcome 2011.

Well.
I can officially say this holiday season was nothing overly special.  I eventually put the tree up on the 18th, but I didn't decorate it (the lights are built in) and I didn't decorate the house.  I gave gifts, including 2 Secret Santas, but not much else.  Monkey and I baked and I shopped with each of the girls individually for the gifts for some family...but...meh?  I just wasn't feeling it.

With the stress of leaving my job and all of the work that entails and Mr. Penguin in exams and working his tushie off...sleep was so much more important.  If I could squeeze in a tea and snuggle/chat date with my husband, I did.  Screw everything else!

As for New Years?  I fell asleep after my shower at 8:30 at night!  People, I'm not even 30 yet!  How sad is that?!!?  Mr. Penguin woke me up at midnight to wish me a Happy New Year and then I fell back asleep.  I'm such a loser.  Geezer?  Whatever.  I'm a blast to have around, whatever you want to call me (SARCASM).

*hugs*

Motivation

On my 101/1001 list I have a goal that I have kept to myself for many years.  #10 - run/jog a 5k marathon.  I have always wanted a fit lifestyle.  The type of lifestyle where fitness isn't something you reward, it's just something you get out and do on a daily basis - it is it's own reward.  I did not grow up with that type of lifestyle AT ALL and most days I find it completely against how I was raised and currently live.  So in wanting to change for the better, I find it extremely difficult to find the motivation to get off my lazy ass and get outside.  Running a 5k is probably the biggest challenge I added to my 101/1001 list.  It is not only testing my motivation, it's testing my determination and some of my fears as well. 

I've always needed a 'buddy'.  Someone to come with me to an event or to join a club at school with me.  I have a hard time putting myself out there and just doing something by myself - for me.  With my parents - who do not lean towards the life I want - and not many friends around, I have to do this on my own as Mr. Penguin is needed to be home with the kids if I'm out.  I have no doubt I can run 5k with enough training - it will be only having myself to push me onward when my muscles hurt that will be my biggest obstacle.  So I am fighting back against myself.

• I have purchased a treadmill at an AMAZING price (under $100!!) that will be delivered in August.  I no longer have the excuse of 'it's raining' or 'too hot' to get outside.  I can walk my ass to the basement and get my training in for the day.
• I went to Walmart yesterday and treated myself to some nice - but cheap (as I'm still broke and working on my debt) - work out clothes.  I got a tank top that is cut for running and some shorts that aren't stolen from Mr. Penguin's drawer.
• I purchased the above in a cut that flatters, but also fits me.  This means that the world can now see where I carry my weight, but not in a way that suggests I stuffed myself into shorts too small for my butt.  If I have a problem with that - I can get moving and lose some weight to make them fit better.  ;)
• I have purchased an app for my iPod to be my trainer - Couch to 5K.  I tested it tonight.  And although I was unable to complete the 'week 1 day 1' session, I know I am going to love this app and it will make all the difference in my progress.  I recommend it for anyone training.
• I have scheduled in AT LEAST every Sunday for training.  I will be adding 2 evenings a week as well - although these will be more flexible based on Mr. Penguin's school schedule and the kid's activities.

I am also putting myself out there for the world to see.

Current weight: 225lbs
Size: 18-20

I am 28 years old - still young and in no way an excuse not to start an exercise program.
I have 2 kids - so what, why should that stop me?  It may take more planning some days, but the results will always be worth it.
I am over weight - well, the weight won't get rid of itself, now will it?
I have a busy schedule - the exercise will help my stress levels, show my babies the importance of doing something for yourself and help me sleep better.

No more excuses.

*hugs*

#93

On my 101 in 1001 list, I had some hard things to accomplish, some easy things and some things that would challenge what I've been doing with my life recently - which isn't a whole hell of a lot.

Which brings us to #93 - Avoid Facebook for a week

Last night I deactivated my Facebook account.  Don't worry, I can log back in after a week and everything will be the same.  ;)  It was/is weird.  I don't live close to many of my friends, so Facebook is my way to catch up, chat and see pictures of everyone elses's babies I'm missing grow older.  I'm doing pretty good, mainly due to the fact that I removed all temptation (but it's been less than 24 hours so check back in 3 days).  By deactivating the account I no longer get the emails.  I removed the shortcut on my browser and hid the one on my BlackBerry (I told you I was an addict!!).

This way, I'm hoping to have more to show for my time.  I will be working on my blog, starting my other challenges and hopefully finishing the painting in the Monkey's room.  Yay me!!

I may even have to make this a monthly occurrence.  3 weeks on, 1 week off -- that would be cool.  Make me do something with my time.  I may even get to scrapbook!  Woah.

*hugs*

I'll get to it...sometime.

If procrastination were a sport...I'd probably drop out.

No seriously, I have been avoiding the work I brought home for HOURS now.  I've added pictures on Facebook, commented on people's stuff, chatted in my online forums, made a lazy supper...I'm out of stuff.

We all know I'm not going to clean anything.

There's a reason I added to cut Facebook out of my life for a week on my 101/1001 list.  I'm an addict!!

Ok, time to just suck it up and do it...maybe.  :D  It's a good thing I don't have cable to distract me!  Goodness, could you imagine how much sitting on my lazy ass I could do then?!  Wow.  THAT would be a sport.  A lazy one, but a sport.  Maybe I could design little medals for it!  Make an Etsy store...oooh, now we're talking.

Etsy.  Now there's a time waster.  Maybe I don't have to work after all! 

*hugs*

PS - I'll totally update you on the lazy ass medals if they come to be.  Just cause I know you're dying to buy one.  ;)

Growing into my own skin.

Random thoughts in 3...2...1...

It's been a rough couple of months.  Is it possible to have an emotional growth spurt?  These past weeks I've felt unsure, irritable and just in a funk.  I'm loving my life one minute and daydreaming about a past that didn't happen another.  Maybe I'm going nuts.

Because if I'm truly honest with myself, I am happy.  I just need to see that more often.  To concentrate on what I'm lucky enough to have and not what I can have or want for the future.  Just live in the moment.  Slow down and enjoy it.

I've kicked myself in the butt and decided I'm going to be a full fledged grown-up from now on.  I've taken on doing the dishes every most nights and attempting to keep the house in order.  I'm assuming the child rearing responsibilities while Mr. Penguin is busy working all hours to support us.  I'm tired, but I'm also so proud of what I've been doing.  I've gained a bigger sense of pride in our home.  An unexpected side effect, but a wonderful mood booster.  To be happy while vacuuming or cleaning the yard...odd.

In taking it slow I'm also attempting to strip our lives of STUFF.  To have each other and the memories we make.  I want a nice home, sure, but I want MORE than that.

Our debt is the first of many things we're conquering.  Once gone I can't even imagine the feelings we'll have.  I'm giddy just sitting here thinking about RRSP's, GIC's, investments and savings accounts. 

...I may have been dropped on my head as a child... 

But seriously, to have the funds to plan our retirement!  Wow.  Totally amazing.  And I want to get on it and pack it full of all the things we want to do paired with all the time we'll have to just be us - together. 

There I go planning in the future again!! It's going to be harder to slow down than I thought...

*hugs*

What am I, 87?!

I spent the weekend indoors.  The weather was rainy and dreary and the kiddos were sick.  Normally that would make for a sucky weekend, but it was a nice change of pace.  After running our butts off for a few months, it was nice to wear pajamas until noon and eat lunch in the living room and just 'hang out'.

I've spent the last 2 days tending to a fussy baby, keeping up with an active 5 year old and attempting my hardest to be a Susie home maker.  I am not your ideal vision of a 'house wife'.  I hate cleaning, I tend to be scattered when it comes to my organization and I hate cleaning.  Did I mention I hate cleaning?!  I'm trying to be better.  Maintaining a clean house is waaaaaaay better (and easier!) than deep cleaning every other week...or month...or so. 

I am proud to say that I washed the upstairs bathroom this week, cleaned the kitchen floors, washed dishes, did 4 loads of laundry -- although they are still in the process of being put away -- cleaned the living room and vacuumed the hallways.  May not seem like much to some, but I work full-time and have 2 kids.  To me it's quite the accomplishment!!

The reason I feel like I should be 87 years old?  After rising at 9:30am and working my tail off all day (ie: leisurely cleaning and relaxing), I was spent and ready for bed...at 7pm.  That's right folks!  I debated curling into bed at 7pm (right behind my babies, who are 5 and under).  I. AM. AWESOME.  Just imagine what time I'd need to go to bed if I actually cleaned my home all the time!?  Seriously?  I can't go to bed before 7pm, I have kids to put to bed!  Sheesh.

So there you go.  I can't wash my floors today as I need to stay up until 7pm to put the baby to bed.  ;)  that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

*hugs*

Why only 24 hours in a day?

I started my new job back in March  and I haven't felt myself since.  I realize that I was taking it 'easy' while on maternity leave, and going with the flow...but I hadn't realized how GOOD it was for me.  See, I would sleep more (god how I miss sleep!) and relax and take walks and actually have the time to plan meals.  You know, like with meat and a side and use the oven and stuff -- not just throw a box of KD in a pot of boiling water (but I totally do not do this -- no, NEVER).

Now I spend my days rushing to get the kids ready and to daycare, to rush to work, to rush at work, to rush home, to rush through dinner/bath/bedtime stories/snuggles with the kids, to rush through work I brought home, to then flop into bed at some stupid hour and get up at the crack of dawn and start all over.  My house is a disaster zone.  I am so not joking.  My vacuum is laughing in a corner as it's been on vacation since...yeah, I can't remember the last time I vacuumed.  Don't judge me!  LOL

The kids have both been sick in the past 3 weeks.  I've spent about 11 hours total in hospitals, clinics and pharmacies just this month.  The baby has had 2 ear infections and the monkey had a virus of some sort.  This cut into mine and Mr. Penguin's work time, which means we're playing catch-up on both ends and missed pay.  Nothing like a little financial squeeze to make you relax!  Yeah, right.  Come to think of it, my ability to only make KD recently is actually helping us save money...

I'm a freakin' genius.

*hugs*

Monday.

I left the house today at 6:52am. Well, I left the driveway at that time. Mr. Penguin and baby penguin were snuggled up together in my comfy bed - all nice and warm. I, on the other hand, was setting out with my reheated chai tea and bagel with peanut butter.

I start my new job today.

It's like the first day of school! I showered and dried my hair last night, put out my clothes (right down to my jewelry!!), and packed my lunch.

Anyways. I left at 6:52am in order to test traffic. Better to be early on the first day than late, right? So I head out and traffic seems good. My tea was good -- which is so much more important. ;) I zoom along the highway, hit all the green lights, and arrive in good time. At 7:04am to be exact.

...I start at 8am.

Happy Monday!

*hugs*