Sugar is poison

Sugar is poison.  Head on over to Sophie's Blog and find out why.  It'll change the way you think about the food that goes in your mouth.  Remember: live the best life possible!

*hugs*

Expectations

I've been reading a lot of self-help books lately, marriage books in particular.  I'm intrigued by the opinions of those who are 'experts', those who are married themselves and those writing from a divorced point of view.  The differences in opinion can be subtle, depending on the authors experiences or research.  I've also found a common theme in them to be expectations.  How we all have expectations, whether known or hidden, that guide us into what we feel should be our life and experiences. 

What do you expect from your marriage?

Who do you believe should take out the trash?  Raise the kids?  Buy gifts for extended family?  How much sex should you be having?  How much money is too much to spend on something?  Who will pay the bills?  How should you be treated when sick?  Are public displays of affection appropriate?

The list can go on forever.  And, according to some experts, the expectations can change once the vows are said and done.  Apparently, the safety created by the act of marriage may bring to the surface expectations that were buried until one feels secure in their paring with a partner.  It means that even if expectations were discussed, they could have done a 180.

Now, as much as we all have expectations, I'm more interested in when those expectations aren't met.  I'm not saying that if you have unrealistic expectations, that you should feel right in being upset.  If wanting a $50,000 engagement ring from your boyfriend who works at McDonalds is your expectation...well, it ain't gonna happen there honey!  But what about those expectations that aren't unrealistic and can be achieved?  Say, wanting the bed made every morning or having someone bring you soup when you're sick?  What happens when those expectations aren't met?  Should you feel justified in being upset and disappointed?  What if you've voiced your expectations clearly to your partner and they still aren't met?  Then what?

In all of the books I've read, they don't have an answer to that question.  Do you go through life without ever receiving that expectation?  Do you hold a grudge?  Do you fight about it?  Is it the other persons fault for not accommodating that expectation?  

If two people can't agree on an expectation of one person...what then?