Thoughts

There are so many things going on in my head/life right now. 

Monkey is in school and dealing with all the ups and downs of her first year in kindergarten - I never realized how much of a relaxed mother I am until she started...some mothers need to uncork it a bit!  Baby is now walking and into everything - especially things she's not supposed to be in or things that will annoy her sister.  Mr. Penguin is back in university and trying to maintain his A+ average (I am SO proud of him!!) and working long hours into the night on his contract jobs on top of it all.  And me?  I am dealing with issues at work and making plans on the side.

I just wish my plans didn't hinge on my ex.

Seriously?!  You'd think after a divorce that someone wouldn't have that kind of power over you anymore.  But when it comes to children involved - and especially MY child - there is always a link.  So now I wait.  Does he want to help ME?  Hell no.  Is it better for Monkey?  I think so.  Will he go for it?  Meh...50/50 at this point.

That's all I have to think about.  How my job is killing me inside, how I want so much for my ex to be reasonable, how I miss my husband as he works his butt off, how I need to finish the laundry and keep decluttering...What?!  Xmas is coming?  Damn...I have things to get!  And cards to mail and, and, and...!!

And I may be getting sick (again) as my glands are a little swollen, most likely due to my work/ex stress.

AWESOME.

It's 9pm here...goodnight!

*ek*

Ramblings

Work has been hell this week.  That is all on that.

I have continued to read "The Happiness Project" and I am now into her month of August.  As I get further into the book, I have grown and tweaked my own project.  I am modifying my goals and challenges and making it unique to me.  I am also stealing some of the challenges from the book!  I have many of the same issues as the author.  We both have 2 young girls, work, run a household, aren't very religious, have a spouse and find it hard to make friends.  I am taking some of her ideas to push me further, but also trying a different spin on others that may not have worked for her.  I am very excited.

In 17 days it will be my and Mr. Penguin's 1st wedding anniversary!  Yes, we did things all backwards...what can I say?  We're those kind of people!!  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  I was thinking of going to the local nature spa for dips in the hot/cold pools and maybe a treatment or a steam train ride with dinner.  But we'll see what Mr. Penguin has in mind.  Whatever it is, I have baby Penguin at my parent's place for the night and Monkey is at her father's place.  It is just me and my Penguin.  Sounds perfect already.

*hugs*

Frustration

There is something I've always loved about Mr. Penguin - he makes me feel very feminine.  Growing up I was always the jeans and tshirt girl who hung out with the guys and playing pool.  I didn't do skirts, purses (I carried a wallet in my back pocket) or heels (sneakers all the way).

All of that changed when Mr. Penguin came into my life (again...but that's a whole other story for another day).  I find with him being so tall and having big shoulders, he makes me feel petite in comparison (and I use that word very lightly!).  I feel like the gentler sex.  I feel cared for and that he is there to protect me.  I don't always have to be the strong one.  It's a wonderful change.

This feeling of being protected and not having to be the strong one has brought about some feminine changes in our 3 years together.  I love purses!  And I'm quite the collector too.  Although I have severely limited myself before that addiction gets out of control.  I now have to sell one to buy one - it keeps the amounts in check.  I also love cute shoes.  Although my definition of what is cute doesn't necessarily fall into the 'fad' of the week (those gladiator sandals are the UGLIEST things I have ever seen.  Ever.)  I also started wearing skirts this year.  It is now to the point where I find it weird when I put pants on!  I literally wear skirts 7 days a week.  My teenage self would never have believed such a time could come.  LOL

So with my feminine side coming forth more and more, I've found other things to be true.  I thoroughly enjoy cooking and feel it is my responsibility to cook for my man and our family - although he does occasionally cook supper.  I think the housework should be mainly mine as Mr. Penguin works from home 14+ hours a day (he helps with the major sorting and organizing).  I feel that the majority of the work with the kids is mine (see his working hours above).  Is it a lot?  Yes.  Do I do it all?  Hell no.  I work full time and just don't get around to vacuuming as much as I should.  Whatever.  The dust bunnies add character to our home!  ;)

However, by having some jobs that are more "female" in nature, I feel that certain jobs should be held by the man of the house.  Like going on the roof or killing spiders.  Mainly though, I feel like it is the the man's job to mow the freakin' lawn.  And this is an agreed upon point between Mr. Penguin and myself.  I waited 2.5 weeks.  I waited until the grass was so long that any longer and I'd have to rake it too.  I waited until I could no longer stand it.  Then *I* went out and mowed the lawn tonight.

My inner woman is hurt.  She came inside and baked cookies to compensate.  ;)

*hugs*

Yummy coolness

The heat here is insane.  Not a good insane either.  We're experiencing 35 degree weather for the past 3 days before humidity (which is currently at 75%) and mugginess like no one's business.  Yesterday it was over 42 degrees when it was all combined.  People are irritable and wanting rain or at least a break in heat.  I'm ready to live in my freezer full-time.

As I was searching for local water pads in my area I came across a brilliant recipe that I will be making tonight.  Behold...Coffee popsicles!  (originally found here)

Coffee Popsicles (only for parents!)

These are best served in oppressive heat when spirits and energy are flagging and you can’t get yourself something cold and caffeinated at your local coffee shop.

You will need:

• ⅓ cup sweetened condensed milk
• ⅓ cup hot espresso or very strong black coffee

Yummy!! 
Maybe I'll make a batch and bring them to work in a cooler for the boys to have tomorrow morning.  We all need our morning caffeine, but the hot stuff isn't so nice now that our a/c at the shop isn't working properly.  Maybe it'll lift some spirits.

*hugs*

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

For a stat holiday that should have been relaxing, it was anything but!  I started out the morning running between two consignment stores in the area to update their ancient computer systems.  The new tax system goes into effect officially today and the systems had to comply and the receipts had to reflect the new tax name as well as percentage. 

Jobs that were originally scheduled between 9am and 11am actually took from 9am to 1:30pm.  Computers are awesome.  I went armed with a CD to override old files and was hit with a computer at each location that did not have a working CD drive.  No problem!  In the end it all worked out and the systems are updated and the owners are happy.

Once I was free to actually start my Canada Day -- my parents were over and the work really began!  My Mom is a cousin of the Energizer Bunny.  She has to be!  For a woman barely into her 50's she has more energy than anyone I've ever met.  In the seven hours my parents were here we (and I'm a VERY loose part of the "we" I use here) accomplished the following:

• Cleaned the kitchen
• Washed a load of dishes
• Steamed the kitchen floors
• Steamed the bathroom floors
• Washed two loads of laundry
• Had supper
• Folded and put away four load of laundry (I hadn't gotten to yesterday's loads yet)
• Mowed the backyard
• Pulled all weeds in the back and front yard 
• Pulled the vine out that was attempting to kill my cedar hedges
• Organized the shed
• Rearranged the deck and set up the kiddie pool
•  Emptied the dishwasher
• Bathed the kids in the outdoor pool
• .......I think that's it.

Like I said -- my Mom just keeps going and going and going...I think they wanted to help out as I have the two kids while Mr. Penguin is away.  Hey, who am I to refuse free labour?!

Both kids are now exhausted and in bed.  I'm getting ready to start my day super early tomorrow as I have to change the cash system at MY work to be tax compliant.  So early do-dos for me.  All in all it was a super productive day.

And I got a free pair of shoes out of today too!  One of the store owner's thought I was sweet and wanted to thank me for my extra time and also educating her on how to properly remove a flash drive.  hehe Bonus!!  Goodnight all.

*hugs*

I'll get to it...sometime.

If procrastination were a sport...I'd probably drop out.

No seriously, I have been avoiding the work I brought home for HOURS now.  I've added pictures on Facebook, commented on people's stuff, chatted in my online forums, made a lazy supper...I'm out of stuff.

We all know I'm not going to clean anything.

There's a reason I added to cut Facebook out of my life for a week on my 101/1001 list.  I'm an addict!!

Ok, time to just suck it up and do it...maybe.  :D  It's a good thing I don't have cable to distract me!  Goodness, could you imagine how much sitting on my lazy ass I could do then?!  Wow.  THAT would be a sport.  A lazy one, but a sport.  Maybe I could design little medals for it!  Make an Etsy store...oooh, now we're talking.

Etsy.  Now there's a time waster.  Maybe I don't have to work after all! 

*hugs*

PS - I'll totally update you on the lazy ass medals if they come to be.  Just cause I know you're dying to buy one.  ;)

What am I, 87?!

I spent the weekend indoors.  The weather was rainy and dreary and the kiddos were sick.  Normally that would make for a sucky weekend, but it was a nice change of pace.  After running our butts off for a few months, it was nice to wear pajamas until noon and eat lunch in the living room and just 'hang out'.

I've spent the last 2 days tending to a fussy baby, keeping up with an active 5 year old and attempting my hardest to be a Susie home maker.  I am not your ideal vision of a 'house wife'.  I hate cleaning, I tend to be scattered when it comes to my organization and I hate cleaning.  Did I mention I hate cleaning?!  I'm trying to be better.  Maintaining a clean house is waaaaaaay better (and easier!) than deep cleaning every other week...or month...or so. 

I am proud to say that I washed the upstairs bathroom this week, cleaned the kitchen floors, washed dishes, did 4 loads of laundry -- although they are still in the process of being put away -- cleaned the living room and vacuumed the hallways.  May not seem like much to some, but I work full-time and have 2 kids.  To me it's quite the accomplishment!!

The reason I feel like I should be 87 years old?  After rising at 9:30am and working my tail off all day (ie: leisurely cleaning and relaxing), I was spent and ready for bed...at 7pm.  That's right folks!  I debated curling into bed at 7pm (right behind my babies, who are 5 and under).  I. AM. AWESOME.  Just imagine what time I'd need to go to bed if I actually cleaned my home all the time!?  Seriously?  I can't go to bed before 7pm, I have kids to put to bed!  Sheesh.

So there you go.  I can't wash my floors today as I need to stay up until 7pm to put the baby to bed.  ;)  that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

*hugs*

17 Penguin financial facts

1) We have too much debt.
2) Divorce isn't as expensive as people think...but it is costing me/now us.
3) Our van is worthless before it's paid off.
4) The interest rate on one of my credit cards is high astronomical crazy ...there aren't words.
5) We know how to budget, we just can't seem to follow it.
6) Student loans are not always worth it.
7) Mr. Penguin was less 'poor' when he was working a minimum wage job than he is now - making more than he ever has.
8) Looking around our house...I'm not sure where we spent all our credit.  So was it worth it?
9) Some debt, although a pain to repay, was totally worth it.
10) About 1/3 of our income goes towards debt.
11) Our grocery expense should NOT be that high...and I'm ashamed at the average our financial system spat out (and that doesn't even include dining out!!).
12) We have almost paid off my parents, the bedroom furniture and the van.
13) We paid for our wedding in full ($10,000 with honeymoon), but it hurt us in other areas.
14) Our need desire to go home to the ocean 3-4 times a year has caused some financial strain.  Is it worth it?
15) I am the worst offender when it comes to spending.
16) Our new budget will be strict.
17) Our love for each other, our family and our life will help us join together to make our plan work.  We are working on the life we want -- now and in the future.  <3

*hugs*

Interest.

The interest rate is WHAT?!?!

Yeah.  We're having a boatload of fun over here at the Penguin household.  Woo.  As we calculate our debt, add up the amounts and discover how much we're being raped in interest charges...we realize how much better life will be when we learn to live without all this credit.

Some day I hope to be living fully within our means.  No credit cards, no interest charges, no more worries.  The habits we have are learned from an early age.  I'm watching our parents...and I'm thinking we need to break this habit or we're never going to get out of debt.  I don't want to pass this on to our girls.  I want them to be patient and appreciate things.  I want them to work hard and know that getting where you want to be takes hard work.

I want to learn to work hard for myself and for what I want.  I want to fully appreciate what I have already in this life, not what I want tomorrow or next week -- to love and be happy where I am.  So here we go with the stark truth.  There is no more hiding from it or pretending it doesn't exist.  Our time has come to face our mistakes and learn from them.

This is for you, my darling babies.  xo

*hugs*

Why only 24 hours in a day?

I started my new job back in March  and I haven't felt myself since.  I realize that I was taking it 'easy' while on maternity leave, and going with the flow...but I hadn't realized how GOOD it was for me.  See, I would sleep more (god how I miss sleep!) and relax and take walks and actually have the time to plan meals.  You know, like with meat and a side and use the oven and stuff -- not just throw a box of KD in a pot of boiling water (but I totally do not do this -- no, NEVER).

Now I spend my days rushing to get the kids ready and to daycare, to rush to work, to rush at work, to rush home, to rush through dinner/bath/bedtime stories/snuggles with the kids, to rush through work I brought home, to then flop into bed at some stupid hour and get up at the crack of dawn and start all over.  My house is a disaster zone.  I am so not joking.  My vacuum is laughing in a corner as it's been on vacation since...yeah, I can't remember the last time I vacuumed.  Don't judge me!  LOL

The kids have both been sick in the past 3 weeks.  I've spent about 11 hours total in hospitals, clinics and pharmacies just this month.  The baby has had 2 ear infections and the monkey had a virus of some sort.  This cut into mine and Mr. Penguin's work time, which means we're playing catch-up on both ends and missed pay.  Nothing like a little financial squeeze to make you relax!  Yeah, right.  Come to think of it, my ability to only make KD recently is actually helping us save money...

I'm a freakin' genius.

*hugs*

Monday.

I left the house today at 6:52am. Well, I left the driveway at that time. Mr. Penguin and baby penguin were snuggled up together in my comfy bed - all nice and warm. I, on the other hand, was setting out with my reheated chai tea and bagel with peanut butter.

I start my new job today.

It's like the first day of school! I showered and dried my hair last night, put out my clothes (right down to my jewelry!!), and packed my lunch.

Anyways. I left at 6:52am in order to test traffic. Better to be early on the first day than late, right? So I head out and traffic seems good. My tea was good -- which is so much more important. ;) I zoom along the highway, hit all the green lights, and arrive in good time. At 7:04am to be exact.

...I start at 8am.

Happy Monday!

*hugs*

Road tripping.

We're on the road. We were on the road last weekend too. Vacations can be great, but they can also be worth more hassle than any relaxation that you think you might get. I'm having one of those 'vacations'.

It started out fine enough. Then we lost a day to helping the in-laws with their broken vehicle. Then Mr. Penguin was out visiting friends and in business meetings so we had limited time together. Then I had a mini melt down from staying at the in-laws by myself with the baby penguin and it being inconvenient. You know, the usual fun vacation-y stuff. ;) So I'm really excited to be getting home tomorrow.

REALLY EXCITED.

I start my new job on Monday. In hind sight, taking a vacation the week before starting a new position might not have been the brightest of ideas. I'm a little stressed about the getting ready I still have to do...which is probably why the vacation felt stressful. :(

I hope Mr. Penguin enjoyed catching up with his friends. Someone should have enjoyed it.

*hugs*