Monday, May 31, 2010


The interest rate is WHAT?!?!

Yeah.  We're having a boatload of fun over here at the Penguin household.  Woo.  As we calculate our debt, add up the amounts and discover how much we're being raped in interest charges...we realize how much better life will be when we learn to live without all this credit.

Some day I hope to be living fully within our means.  No credit cards, no interest charges, no more worries.  The habits we have are learned from an early age.  I'm watching our parents...and I'm thinking we need to break this habit or we're never going to get out of debt.  I don't want to pass this on to our girls.  I want them to be patient and appreciate things.  I want them to work hard and know that getting where you want to be takes hard work.

I want to learn to work hard for myself and for what I want.  I want to fully appreciate what I have already in this life, not what I want tomorrow or next week -- to love and be happy where I am.  So here we go with the stark truth.  There is no more hiding from it or pretending it doesn't exist.  Our time has come to face our mistakes and learn from them.

This is for you, my darling babies.  xo


Sunday, May 30, 2010

On our way to debt-free.


It's not talked about as much as it should be.  People in general are in debt -- and think it's normal.  I'm tired of it.  I'm the worst offender between Mr. Penguin and me and it is about to stop.  We're starting a plan and we're starting it NOW.

Join us -- you can do it too.

It begins today.  I am printing statements as I type.  Mr. Penguin and I are pretty familiar with what we owe and the interest rates.  We just haven't been pro-active in getting rid of it -- for good.  I will be updating our stats for myself.  To put them out there to keep me motivated.  Feel free to browse, to laugh or just to take comfort that your situation may not be so bad.  ;)

3 years or less baby...let's do this.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

Renewing our love.

I strongly believe in renewing our love.  Daily, weekly, monthly and yearly -- whenever the chance presents itself really.  Granted, I've only been married just over 7 months...but Mr. Penguin and I have been through A LOT compared to most couples.  Between moving across the country (him), getting over a divorce (me), 2 kids, a new house, new jobs...we're not exactly your 'typical' newlywed couple.  ;)

Tonight was one of those times.  We attended a friend's wedding.  Sure we had the baby in tow, but that didn't stop the magic.  We dressed up, we smiled at each other across the table (well, over the high chair anyways), we complimented one another and caught each other checking the other out, we danced and laughed.  We relived our own wedding day.  <3

We snuggled and lightly made out at the car before I took the baby back to the hotel to sleep so he could stay and visit with his friends.  My man is an excellent kisser.  Just sayin'.

I am a lucky lady.
Goodnight all.


Saturday, May 22, 2010

Do I have what it takes?

What makes a good mother?  A good wife?  A good employee, daughter or friend?  Are the rules and guidelines for greatness in a role dictated by others?  Are they created in our own minds?  Do they stem from how we perceive the role through someone else's eyes looking in?  I frequently ponder my roles in life.  I don't give a flying hoot what others think of me...I'm hard enough on myself, thank you very much.

Do I have what it takes?
In my role of mother I frequently question how I'm doing.  I know I'm a GOOD mother.  I know the basics and am raising happy, healthy girls...but what about the extras?  What makes a GREAT mother?  I want my girls to grow up fending for themselves.  To know the meaning of a dollar, to want to make themselves proud and to be happy with whatever cards they are dealt.  My struggle comes from not always having that myself.

How do I teach something I don't always practice?

As a wife I'm torn.  There are days that I'm insecure and need more loving and attention -- other days I rule the relationship.  ;)  I tend to be emotional...but is that a bad thing?  I need a connection - whether physical or emotional - most of the time.  Does that mean I smother?  Does it mean I can't stand on my own?  Does it mean I'm just head-over-heels in love with my man?  LOL  Does it mean anything at all?

I never questioned my role as a wife before.  It just felt natural to me.  However, after adding another child to the mix we've seemed to have knocked something off kilter.  Not a bad thing, just something to adapt to, is all.  I've taken on many new roles in the past year...being a wife has been one of them, but not necessarily the one that has received the most attention on my end.  Is my need for a connection all of the time a result of this?  A way to know my Penguin is there -- that he's with me and loving me no matter what craziness the day may bring?  (and boy do we have craziness!  We don't call our house a zoo for nothing!)

What if I'm questioning something that isn't really broken?

I'm juggling many different areas of my life at once.  I juggle the kids, with my work, with my marriage, with my own identity, with everything else.  But that's the thing: who wants to spend their life juggling?!  Why can't I blend it all together and just LIVE?  Why do I always have to be picking one area of my life over the others?

Why can't I just be me and the rest fall into place?

Do I have what it takes?
The jury is still out.


Monday, May 17, 2010

Forever Penguin Day

I've been reliving our wedding day could be because I'm still working on our wedding photo book.  Or it could be because I'm still so proud of how much of ourselves we put into the day.

We broke traditions:
We ate breakfast for the main meal.
We had our children as the flower girls.
We had a rose ceremony.
We played Beyoncé as we exited after saying our vows.
The only dancing that was done was for our first dance.

We call it Forever Penguin Day...


Sunday, May 16, 2010

Why only 24 hours in a day?

I started my new job back in March  and I haven't felt myself since.  I realize that I was taking it 'easy' while on maternity leave, and going with the flow...but I hadn't realized how GOOD it was for me.  See, I would sleep more (god how I miss sleep!) and relax and take walks and actually have the time to plan meals.  You know, like with meat and a side and use the oven and stuff -- not just throw a box of KD in a pot of boiling water (but I totally do not do this -- no, NEVER).

Now I spend my days rushing to get the kids ready and to daycare, to rush to work, to rush at work, to rush home, to rush through dinner/bath/bedtime stories/snuggles with the kids, to rush through work I brought home, to then flop into bed at some stupid hour and get up at the crack of dawn and start all over.  My house is a disaster zone.  I am so not joking.  My vacuum is laughing in a corner as it's been on vacation since...yeah, I can't remember the last time I vacuumed.  Don't judge me!  LOL

The kids have both been sick in the past 3 weeks.  I've spent about 11 hours total in hospitals, clinics and pharmacies just this month.  The baby has had 2 ear infections and the monkey had a virus of some sort.  This cut into mine and Mr. Penguin's work time, which means we're playing catch-up on both ends and missed pay.  Nothing like a little financial squeeze to make you relax!  Yeah, right.  Come to think of it, my ability to only make KD recently is actually helping us save money...

I'm a freakin' genius.