Take action.

After yesterday's ramblings I'm moving forward.

I've created my 101/1001 list and am creating the life I want bit by bit.  I'll trip, I'll fall...but I will get back up.
What do you want for yourself?

*hugs*

Growing into my own skin.

Random thoughts in 3...2...1...

It's been a rough couple of months.  Is it possible to have an emotional growth spurt?  These past weeks I've felt unsure, irritable and just in a funk.  I'm loving my life one minute and daydreaming about a past that didn't happen another.  Maybe I'm going nuts.

Because if I'm truly honest with myself, I am happy.  I just need to see that more often.  To concentrate on what I'm lucky enough to have and not what I can have or want for the future.  Just live in the moment.  Slow down and enjoy it.

I've kicked myself in the butt and decided I'm going to be a full fledged grown-up from now on.  I've taken on doing the dishes every most nights and attempting to keep the house in order.  I'm assuming the child rearing responsibilities while Mr. Penguin is busy working all hours to support us.  I'm tired, but I'm also so proud of what I've been doing.  I've gained a bigger sense of pride in our home.  An unexpected side effect, but a wonderful mood booster.  To be happy while vacuuming or cleaning the yard...odd.

In taking it slow I'm also attempting to strip our lives of STUFF.  To have each other and the memories we make.  I want a nice home, sure, but I want MORE than that.

Our debt is the first of many things we're conquering.  Once gone I can't even imagine the feelings we'll have.  I'm giddy just sitting here thinking about RRSP's, GIC's, investments and savings accounts. 

...I may have been dropped on my head as a child... 

But seriously, to have the funds to plan our retirement!  Wow.  Totally amazing.  And I want to get on it and pack it full of all the things we want to do paired with all the time we'll have to just be us - together. 

There I go planning in the future again!! It's going to be harder to slow down than I thought...

*hugs*

What am I, 87?!

I spent the weekend indoors.  The weather was rainy and dreary and the kiddos were sick.  Normally that would make for a sucky weekend, but it was a nice change of pace.  After running our butts off for a few months, it was nice to wear pajamas until noon and eat lunch in the living room and just 'hang out'.

I've spent the last 2 days tending to a fussy baby, keeping up with an active 5 year old and attempting my hardest to be a Susie home maker.  I am not your ideal vision of a 'house wife'.  I hate cleaning, I tend to be scattered when it comes to my organization and I hate cleaning.  Did I mention I hate cleaning?!  I'm trying to be better.  Maintaining a clean house is waaaaaaay better (and easier!) than deep cleaning every other week...or month...or so. 

I am proud to say that I washed the upstairs bathroom this week, cleaned the kitchen floors, washed dishes, did 4 loads of laundry -- although they are still in the process of being put away -- cleaned the living room and vacuumed the hallways.  May not seem like much to some, but I work full-time and have 2 kids.  To me it's quite the accomplishment!!

The reason I feel like I should be 87 years old?  After rising at 9:30am and working my tail off all day (ie: leisurely cleaning and relaxing), I was spent and ready for bed...at 7pm.  That's right folks!  I debated curling into bed at 7pm (right behind my babies, who are 5 and under).  I. AM. AWESOME.  Just imagine what time I'd need to go to bed if I actually cleaned my home all the time!?  Seriously?  I can't go to bed before 7pm, I have kids to put to bed!  Sheesh.

So there you go.  I can't wash my floors today as I need to stay up until 7pm to put the baby to bed.  ;)  that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

*hugs*

Alone.

I feel it.

Where do I turn to?  Who do I seek advice from?  When everyone around you has their own stuff going on and you need a shoulder to cry on...who do you go to?!

Some days I'm just not strong enough for all that life hands me.

But no one knows that but me.

*hugs*

17 Penguin financial facts

1) We have too much debt.
2) Divorce isn't as expensive as people think...but it is costing me/now us.
3) Our van is worthless before it's paid off.
4) The interest rate on one of my credit cards is high astronomical crazy ...there aren't words.
5) We know how to budget, we just can't seem to follow it.
6) Student loans are not always worth it.
7) Mr. Penguin was less 'poor' when he was working a minimum wage job than he is now - making more than he ever has.
8) Looking around our house...I'm not sure where we spent all our credit.  So was it worth it?
9) Some debt, although a pain to repay, was totally worth it.
10) About 1/3 of our income goes towards debt.
11) Our grocery expense should NOT be that high...and I'm ashamed at the average our financial system spat out (and that doesn't even include dining out!!).
12) We have almost paid off my parents, the bedroom furniture and the van.
13) We paid for our wedding in full ($10,000 with honeymoon), but it hurt us in other areas.
14) Our need desire to go home to the ocean 3-4 times a year has caused some financial strain.  Is it worth it?
15) I am the worst offender when it comes to spending.
16) Our new budget will be strict.
17) Our love for each other, our family and our life will help us join together to make our plan work.  We are working on the life we want -- now and in the future.  <3

*hugs*

Interest.

The interest rate is WHAT?!?!

Yeah.  We're having a boatload of fun over here at the Penguin household.  Woo.  As we calculate our debt, add up the amounts and discover how much we're being raped in interest charges...we realize how much better life will be when we learn to live without all this credit.

Some day I hope to be living fully within our means.  No credit cards, no interest charges, no more worries.  The habits we have are learned from an early age.  I'm watching our parents...and I'm thinking we need to break this habit or we're never going to get out of debt.  I don't want to pass this on to our girls.  I want them to be patient and appreciate things.  I want them to work hard and know that getting where you want to be takes hard work.

I want to learn to work hard for myself and for what I want.  I want to fully appreciate what I have already in this life, not what I want tomorrow or next week -- to love and be happy where I am.  So here we go with the stark truth.  There is no more hiding from it or pretending it doesn't exist.  Our time has come to face our mistakes and learn from them.

This is for you, my darling babies.  xo

*hugs*

On our way to debt-free.

Money. 

It's not talked about as much as it should be.  People in general are in debt -- and think it's normal.  I'm tired of it.  I'm the worst offender between Mr. Penguin and me and it is about to stop.  We're starting a plan and we're starting it NOW.

Join us -- you can do it too.

It begins today.  I am printing statements as I type.  Mr. Penguin and I are pretty familiar with what we owe and the interest rates.  We just haven't been pro-active in getting rid of it -- for good.  I will be updating our stats for myself.  To put them out there to keep me motivated.  Feel free to browse, to laugh or just to take comfort that your situation may not be so bad.  ;)

3 years or less baby...let's do this.

*hugs*